TMTA… So that I can meet my new BFF, unless I can convince her to adopt me, in which case, my new mom.

Brittany, Herself  is one of the funniest dag gum blogs I have come across in ages.

She’s accomplished some amazing business-ey things, including giving a very inspirational TED Talk on beauty and body image.

I am afraid to say though, that I’ve been focusing more on the hilarity. What can I say, I’m a shallow person with the mind of a child.

Hearing that another person in the universe is routinely afraid of being burgled and seeing dead people, has one weird boob-hair, and the habit of sending persistent, manic emails to almost everyone…. well, it all made me very manic, and I spent a good long while rolling myself up in my bed linen like a burrito, hysterical-cry-laughing and eating these vile salted nuts that I bought because they were cheap.

What does a nut taste like once it’s gone off? Is it bitter? Do nuts ever go bad? I will be Googling this.

This woman is ME, all grown up, with a huz-band and family, because she is obviously much, much better at not scaring off really nice men.
She also has stunning hair, and significantly larger and sexier boobs than I do, but let’snotdwellonthenegative.

At least, I hope this is what I might turn out to be like.
Currently, I’m all set to die from over exposure to fermented-nut toxins, and be eaten by whatever animal manages to claw its way into my apartment first. The bright side, though, is that this eventuality – if well-timed –  might make my ex-boyfriend sad, and that makes me smug.
(remember: mind of child).